See Ya Later
By Arron Crascall
Alright guys? It's me, Arron. Or as some people call me, 'that guy with the phone, the skinny jeans and the really fat head on Facebook'.In a world that seems to be freefalling without a parachute towards utter chaos, I'm here to remind you that when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. No, in fact, when life gives you lemons, make a fool out of yourself in the lemonade aisle.*Because there's more to life than Brexit, Bake Off and banging on about being vegan. Yes, with this book - which is my take on the world - you will learn how to survive a proper lads' holiday, become a master in the art of takeaway ordering and find out about the pitfalls of seriously inappropriate tattoos.So do yourself a favour: turn off the news, cancel that juice cleanse, open your eyes to the brilliant, hilarious world we live in and most importantly . . . buy this book.SEE YA LATER! Arron x*Actually, don't do exactly that, that's my thing.
Stiff Upper Lip
By Alex Renton
'A brave and necessary book' GUARDIAN'Shocking, gripping and sobering' SUNDAY TELEGRAPHNo other society sends its young boys and girls away to school to prepare them for a role in the ruling class.Beating, bullying, fagging, cold baths, vile food and paedophile teachers are just some of the features of this elite education, and, while some children loved boarding school, others now admit to suffering life-altering psychological damage. Stiff Upper Lip exposes the hypocrisy, cronyism and conspiracy that are key to understanding the scandals over abuse and neglect in institutions all over the world.Award-winning investigative journalist Alex Renton went to three traditional boarding schools. Drawing on those experiences, and the vivid testimony of hundreds of former pupils, he has put together a compelling history, important to anyone wondering what shaped the people who run Britain in the twenty-first century.
The Story of Life
By Chris (Simpsons Artist)
this book is a magical journey through life from the beginnings of time to the birth of a child and the adventure that we take on our way to the grave and beyond to the starsit is a celebration of being human and all of the beautiful things that is in between.if you like books that are about:why we are herehow we are madebabies shedding their baby legs and growing their child legsthe innocence of childhoodthe warmth of papas backteen lifebody harethe first kissfalling in lovebeing alonethe gift of a feathertales of witchessaturday nightsmonday morningsthe mystery of old peoples earlobesdeathghostsand the meaning of lifethen this book is for youbecause inside of this book there is all of those things and after reading about 5 pages of it you will be the main expert of human life and there will be nothing in this world that you will not know love from your friend chris (simpsons artist) xox
By The Muffin Brothers
When a young boy goes missing, a small town uncovers a mystery involving secret recipes, supernatural whisking forces and one strange ingredient...In this 80s-tastic cookbook, the Muffin Brothers bring you an out-of-this-world collection of delicious and disturbing edible treats.Whip up a psychokinetic storm with recipes such as Elle's Special Dip, Joyce's Alphabet Soup, Mike's Secret Crush and Barb's Scone Missing. Each crumb is sure to vanish without a trace.
By Jem Lester
'An unforgettable first novel' The Times * * * * *THE EBOOK BESTSELLER ABOUT FATHERS, SONS AND LOVETen-year-old Jonah lives in a world of his own.He likes colours and feathers and the feel of fresh air on his skin.He dislikes sudden loud noises and any change to his daily routine.Jonah has never spoken, yet somehow he communicates better than all of the adults in his life.Inspired by the author's experiences with his own son, SHTUM is a novel about three generations of a family learning to get along.* * * * *'A book with true heart and soul' Joanna Cannon'Whether you think Shtum is a novel about autism or about marriage (it's both, by the way), you will agree that it is, in the end, a love story infused with wit, charm, and a deep appreciation for the complex beauty of damaged souls.' Jonathan Tropper
Something for the Weekend
By Terry Wogan
A collection of Terry Wogan's best TELEGRAPH columns, with his trademark wry take on life.'It's my feeling that whatever's bothering you, you ought to be able to say it in less than 500 words. The rest is window-dressing ... Probably explains why I didn't write WAR AND PEACE...'Sir Terry Wogan has been busy over the past 10 years writing his ever-popular SUNDAY TELEGRAPH column.In this first collection of the very best of his weekly musings, Terry delivers his distinctively dry and amusing views on life. From the disappointment of the declining years, the ubiquity of TV cooks ('Nowadays, you can't throw a stone in a country road without hitting a television chef, in full colour'), to vanity and those little daily annoyances that drive you to drink, he never fails to entertain. Terry's modern grumbles, gentle social commentary and witty observations make for a delightful assortment of reading.Charming and wry, with not a hint of lickspittle, this is WOGAN'S WORLD at its most entertaining.
The Slow Regard of Silent Things
By Patrick Rothfuss
The University, a renowned bastion of knowledge, attracts the brightest minds to unravel the mysteries of enlightened sciences like artificing and alchemy. Yet deep below its bustling halls lies a complex and cavernous maze of abandoned rooms and ancient passageways - and in the heart of it all lives Auri.Formerly a student at the University, now Auri spends her days tending the world around her. She has learned that some mysteries are best left settled and safe. No longer fooled by the sharp rationality so treasured by the University, Auri sees beyond the surface of things, into subtle dangers and hidden names.At once joyous and haunting, THE SLOW REGARD OF SILENT THINGS is a rich, atmospheric and lyrical tale, featuring one of the most beloved characters from Rothfuss' acclaimed fantasy series.
By Tim Minchin
Dazzling illustrated poetry from the magical mind of Tim Minchin. This is his first ever book and features a foreword from Neil Gaiman.A storm is brewing in the confines of a London dinner party. Small talk quickly descends into a verbal and intellectual battle between science and belief, as comedian Tim goes head to head with the mysterious fifth guest at the table - a hippy named Storm.With stunning original artwork, Tim's sublime ranty beat-poem weaves through the world we live in, where alternative medicine is given credence and public funding, psychics have primetime TV exposure and people are happy with mystery rather than answers.While Storm herself may not be converted, audiences from London to Sydney have been won over by Tim's lyrical wonders and the timely message of the piece in a society where science is attacked as the enemy of belief. STORM is the illustrated book born from the acclaimed internet sensation - the animation that has become an anthem for critical thinking worldwide, attracting over three million views. Now fully reimagined, STORM is a masterpiece that sparkles with beauty, wit, reason and rationality.Watch the video here: http://bit.ly/1s2DUuU
The Splintered Gods
By Stephen Deas
Praised by the likes of Joe Abercrombie and Brent Weeks, Stephen Deas has made dragons his own.Captured by an unknown enemy and forced to wage war on his rivals, the Dragon Queen has found herself hated and feared by all the people of this new land. There is little they can do to hurt her while she has her dragon, but she cannot escape while the magic necklace she is forced to wear remains active - or it will throttle her. And the enemies of her new master are gathering for revenge ...Lost in a body that isn't his own, Berren - the Bloody Judge - continues his search for the man who stole his life. Accompanied by a single Adamantine soldier, they scrabble to survive in a world shaken by the Dragon Queen's attack and suspicious of all those who are strangers. But there is another power inside Berren, one which escapes when he is in danger and has the habit of disintegrating those around him. And that power has its own agenda ... One that will lead it to the Dragon Queen, and battle.The critics, fellow authors and readers alike are agreed - if you love dragons and epic fantasy, Stephen Deas is the writer for you. The man who brought dragons back to their full glory, might and terror.
By Ann Widdecombe
Forthright memoirs of a singular personality - former MP and Strictly Come Dancing star, Ann Widdecombe.In this life story of one of our most outspoken and celebrated politicians, Ann Widdecombe offers a unique insight into her time as a minister in three government departments and the Shadow Cabinet in the 1990s, as well as taking us back to her wandering childhood and explaining the roots of her deeply held views.A rare anti-hunting Tory, who campaigned for prison education and once donned a miner's overalls to go down a coal mine, Ann Widdecombe has never shied away from controversy. Her memoirs reveal a singular personality who lives life to the full. From feisty appearances on Have I Got News for You to her unforgettable and star-turning performances on Strictly Come Dancing, Ann has earned her place in the public's affections and has been heralded as a 'national living treasure' by the Guardian.
Seven Elements That Have Changed The World
By John Browne
'Fascinating and enjoyable ... enthused with insight' - Brian CoxUranium, carbon, iron, titanium, gold, silver and silicon - former BP CEO John Browne explains how seven elements are shaping the 21st century, for good and for bad.Humans have put the Earth's resources to extraordinary use, but not always for the benefit of humankind. SEVEN ELEMENTS vividly describes how iron, carbon, gold, silver, uranium, titanium and silicon have shaped the world around us - for good and for bad.This book takes you on an adventure of human passion, ingenuity and discovery, but it is a journey that is far from over: we continue to find surprising new uses for each of these seven key elements. Discover how titanium pervades modern consumer society, how natural gas is transforming the global energy sector and how an innovative new form of carbon could be starting a technological revolution.SEVEN ELEMENTS is a unique mix of science, history and politics, interwoven with the author's extensive personal and professional experience.
By Brandon Sanderson
Ten years ago, Calamity came. It was a burst in the sky that gave ordinary men and women extraordinary powers. The awed public started calling them Epics. But Epics are no friend of man. With incredible gifts came the desire to rule. And to rule man you must crush his wills. Nobody fights the Epics...nobody but the Reckoners. A shadowy group of ordinary humans, they spend their lives studying Epics, finding their weaknesses, and then assassinating them.And David wants in. He wants Steelheart - the Epic who is said to be invincible. The Epic who killed David's father. For years, like the Reckoners, David's been studying, and planning - and he has something they need. Not an object, but an experience. He's seen Steelheart bleed. And he wants revenge.
The Search for the Perfect Pub
By Paul Moody, Robin Turner
Inspired by George Orwell, Paul Moody and Robin Turner take a nostalgic road trip around Britain in search of the perfect pub. 'A deeply satisfying travelogue' Stuart MaconieIn 1946, George Orwell, a man fond of a pint, wrote about his favourite pub, The Moon Under Water, in his EVENING STANDARD column. But it didn't actually exist. It was Orwell's vision of a perfect pub. Today, Wetherspoons have fourteen Moon Under Waters, and the nation is awash with identikit, high-street lounge bars competing for a dwindling clientele.Paul Moody and Robin Turner's road trip around Britain, therefore, is not just a search for the perfect pub. It is a deeper investigation into what has happened to British pub culture, once the toast of the world. In fact, it is a search for a kind of life-force kindled by the British public, something the powers-that-be are forever trying to extinguish.Along the way, such luminaries as Pete Brown ('the King of Beer'), Tim Martin (Wetherspoon's boss), Iain Sinclair, James Dean Bradfield and Paul Kingsnorth are consulted - along with a host of micro-brewers, landlords, politicians, bloggers and barroom philosophers. What emerges is a picture of the country as seen through a pint glass, a vision that goes to the heart of what it means to be British.
By Adam Roberts
Bingo Sac Grabbins is asked by the coughing wizard Gandef and some (oddly Welsh) dwarves to help them relieve the great dragon Smug of his gold.SF author and Tolkien scholar Adam Roberts has written a parody that is both hilarious and intelligent. With knowing digs at the fantasy genre in general and the mystique that has built around Middle Earth in particular this will make Tolkien's 21st century readers laugh in a way that BORED OF THE RINGS made his fans of 1969 laugh.
The Sookie Stackhouse Companion
By Charlaine Harris
The complete guide to the internationally bestselling Sookie Stackhouse TRUE BLOOD booksTHE SOOKIE STACKHOUSE COMPANION is a unique guide to Sookie Stackhouse and her dark fantasy Southern-Gothic world, as well as an in-depth look at the award-winning HBO series TRUE BLOOD.The book features a brand-new Sookie story and Charlaine's own map of Bon Temps, never before published, with every place of interest in the town, including Merlotte's bar and Sookie's home.Other treats include:* An introduction by Charlaine about the impact Sookie Stackhouse has had on her writing career, and the influence on the genre at large* A large section on the award-winning HBO series TRUE BLOOD* Detailed summaries of each novel and entries on every important character, event and setting in the series, in Sookie's voice.* An overview of Sookie's world, including information on the vampires, shapeshifter/wereanimal, and fairie factions* Interviews with Charlaine Harris and Alan Ball* A selection of favourite Bon Temps recipes
The Secret Diary of a Grumpy Old Woman
By Judith Holder
The highly successful Grumpy Old Woman returns - and this time she's even grumpier!'It feels like only yesterday I was the youngest person in the room, I had my whole life in front of me. I had time to burn, I spent my whole day snogging boys and backcombing my hair. I was a young thing, with a lovely body, life was fun, and I hadn't a care in the world. Now - it feels like two minutes later - I'm a little bit old. OK, I'm not in elasticated stockings or on Meals on Wheels whizzing down the stairs on my stairlift, but my life is more than half over. I've been there, done that, got the packamac. I'm so old that I remember dances with drum solos, the arrival of unisex hairdressers and had a crush on Ilya Kuryakin. I am up at the top of the hill, and over the other side again. What all this means, is that I am grumpy. But I've earnt it... I lived through Boney M and leg warmers and the Crossroads Motel.Obviously in a book this size I wouldn't be able to share with you ALL of my grumps. But I've decided to write down some of the secret thoughts that beset a woman of a certain age, some of the wicked things that occur to a woman who takes a lot of things to the dry cleaners, has to have her roots done every four weeks and finds it hard to wear high heels. And guess what: they still fancy people, still have silly little crushes on people at work, still - shock horror - have sex. You will discover that women of a certain age are just as provocative and turned on as women in their twenties. Probably more so. So get over it. Middle-aged women are sexy, funny and infinitely lovable. They are also taking over the world.'
The Sweet Scent of Blood
By Suzanne McLeod
THE SWEET SCENT OF BLOOD is the first book of SPELLCRACKERS.COM, a sexy, sassy new series guaranteed to spice up your reading life, and perfect for fans of Kim Harrison.Genevieve Taylor is a Sidhe, one of the noble fae, and she's unusual, even in present-day London where celebrity vampires, eccentric goblins and scheming lesser fae mix freely with the human population. Genny is a rising star at Spellcrackers.com, where she finds the `M' in magic - and that invariably leads to mischief, malice and - too often - murder. Spellcrackers.com is affiliated to the Witch Council, whose ancient tenets prohibit any contact with vampires. Genny also works as a volunteer at a clinic which treats victims of vampire attacks. Then there's her extra-curricular activity, extracting vulnerable fae lured by the local fang gangs. Genny certainly doesn't wants any closer involvement with the vampire community.But when Mr October, one of the hot calendar pin-up vamps, is accused of violently murdering his girlfriend, Genny's called on to repay an old debt and prove his innocence. And that means consorting with some of the sexiest vamps in London!
By Tim Powers
Strange Itineraries takes you down haunted byways into the heart of Tim Powers country, where you will find turbulent ghosts, secretive immortals and mysterious Ether Bunnies. Containing Tim Powers' short fiction from 1982 to 2004, including his delightful collaborations with James P. Blaylock, Strange Itineraries will enchant you and lead you astray.
The Stone Giant
By James P. Blaylock
Theophile Escargot, cast out of Twombly Town for the crime of stealing his own pie, bade a midnight farewell to his unfeeling neighbours and set out on a journey to fabled Balumnia. There he would clash with the master of an elfin airship and a conniving, marble-stealing dwarf; battle to save Leta, a beautiful maid possessed by a malevolent witch; discover magical powers that could make him a hero; and unearth secrets of the legendary land itself.Return to the magical world of The Elfin Ship and The Disappearing Dwarf in this fabulous book.
By Adam Roberts
A long time ago in galaxy far, far away a really quite good SF film, a sort of western in space, was launched. The special effects were pretty shoddy but it did have some quite good actors in it. And Mark Hammill. A second and third film that were actually the fifth and sixth films followed and they weren't quite so good but they were still quite fun (especially when the teddies got blasted by the Imperial stormtroopers). Then, the first, second and third films followed and they were actually fairly dreadful though by now the special effects were much better. And the actors were still better than average too. And Mark Hammill was too old to be in it plus his character hadn't been born yet so that was OK.A Gollancz parody was inevitable. And here it is. An epic told in six chapters. An epic of good versus evil. Of dark versus light. Of hairy co-pilots and green gurus. Of bizarre hair styles, steel bras and camp robots. An epic that starts in the middle. And that's the original!