How to be Champion
By Sarah Millican
Hilarious, heartwarming and inspirational, this is the number 1 Sunday Times bestselling autobiography by comedian Sarah Millican. The funniest book of the year! *****'The naughtiest, helpiest, laughieoutloudiest and goodest book I've ever done reading on. Give that girl a banana!' DAWN FRENCH SARAH MILLICAN'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH, FEEL NORMAL AND PROBABLY SNIFF YOUR LEGGINGS. Part autobiography, part self help, part confession, part celebration of being a common-or-garden woman, part collection of synonyms for nunny, Sarah Millican's debut book delves into her super normal life with daft stories, funny tales and proper advice on how to get past life's blips - like being good at school but not good at friends, the excitement of IBS and how to blossom post divorce. If you've ever worn glasses at the age of six, worn an off-the-shoulder gown with no confidence, been contacted by an old school bully, lived in your childhood bedroom in your thirties, been gloriously dumped in a Frankie and Benny's, cried so much you felt great, been for a romantic walk with a dog, worn leggings two days in a row even though they smelt of wee from a distance, then this is YOUR BOOK. If you haven't done those things but wish you had, THIS IS YOUR BOOK. If you just want to laugh on a train/sofa/toilet or under your desk at work, THIS IS YOUR BOOK. 'Of course Sarah Millican's book will make you laugh out loud, but there are moments where she will touch you deeply. The dirty bitch.' KATHY BURKE
By Fritz Leiber
A must-read story collection from Grand Master of Science Fiction and Fantasy Fritz Leiber.Assembled from magazine submissions, fanzines, and even "lost" manuscripts discovered amongst the author's personal papers, Horrible Imaginings includes two Nebula Award finalists: "Horrible Imaginings," and "Answering Service," as well as the stories "The Automatic Pistol," "Crazy Annaoj," "The Hound," "Alice and the Allergy," "Skinny's Wonderful," "Scream Wolf," "Mysterious Doings in the Metropolitan Museum," "When Brahma Wakes," "The Glove," "The Girl With the Hungry Eyes," "While Set Fled," "Diary in the Snow," and "The Ghost Light."
By Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
Dreamwebs feed the masses the entertainment they crave, while the creators of the Dreams are driven to madness.
By James Alan Gardner
In the fourth volume of the League of Peoples series, Alexander York is one of the High Council's most iron-fisted admirals. When his children, Samantha and Edward, were born, he paid top dollar to have their DNA altered to insure they grew up perfect physical and mental specimens. But when Edward ended up with a faulty brain, his father sentenced him to join the Expendables, a band of misfits and the deformed mandated to explore the most dangerous parts of the galaxy.Accompanying his sister on a mission to Troyen, an anguished planet and home to the Mandasar, Edward finds himself in the middle of a civil war and is ultimately exiled. As violence escalates, Edward struggles to navigate a treacherous path with the assistance of none other than Festina Ramos-the greatest Explorer of all.
By Paul DiFilippo
In the first category is 'Femaville 29,' a much-lauded fantastical tale of love and salvation among the ruins of America's Eastern Seaboard. 'The Singularity Needs Women!' pits human against posthuman over a woman's love. In 'Shipbreaker,' a common laborer in an interstellar salvage yard finds his destiny altered forever by a strange pet. And in 'Escape from New Austin,' a young girl leaves her liberal home seeking the conservative dream.'Aurorae' and 'A Game of Go' are both set in the cyberpunk future of the author's seminal 'Kid Charlemagne.' Two short, sharp satires, 'Bad Beliefs' and 'Leakage,' resurface from their initial publication in the alternative press.The title story, 'Harsh Oases,' is the first addition to the Ribofunk canon since the publication of that pivotal collection in 1996. Nearly a compressed novel, it spans many strange milieus in the bio-engineered future of that series. On two radically different notes, 'Pinocchia' chronicles the erotic adventures of a sexy android, while 'Personal Jesus' and 'Lignum Vitae' address, with varying degrees of solemnity, the topic of religion. A collaboration with gonzo creator Rudy Rucker explores levels of quantum weirdness that underlie our familiar world. Finally, some flash fiction packs a few startling SF conceits into bite-sized stories.Running the wide gamut of Di Filippo's myriad concerns and styles, this collection extends and solidifies his reputation as one of the finest short-story writers working today.
By Simon Ings
A fast-moving cyberpunk thriller set in a world of thinking cities, ruthless corporations and mad orbital AIs. A novel that links the groundbreaking works of William Gibson to the new generation of writers such as Charlie Stross and Hannu Rajaniemi.Ajay had a future once, birthing intelligent cities for the Haag Agency. First Delhi, then Milan. But then he is seduced into betraying his employers and finds himself working for a city that wishes to become human.Ajay must steal some rare technology from a long-dead wetware expert, a new Frankenstein called Snow, a man now alive in an AI. A man who wants a new toy for his manufactured daughter ...
How To Raise A Jewish Dog
By Ellis Weiner, Barbara Davilman
You don't have to own a dog and you don't have to be Jewish... A humour title about using guilt, shame and passive aggression to raise your dog that will have you barking with laughter.A 'Not Missing Yet' sign informs neighbours that dog is not missing. Some trainers call this precaution unnecessary. We say: It couldn't hurt.Finally! The dog training techniques and tips developed by the renowned Rabbis of the Boca Raton Theological Seminary are available in book form. Look out, monks. Step aside, whisperer. Rabbi Monica and Rabbi Alan show, step by step, how you can use guilt, shame, passive aggression, sarcasm and Conditional Unconditional Love to create an unbreakable bond with your dog. It's all here, including:- The five ways of commanding 'Sit!' ('What, would it kill you to sit down for one lousy second?')- A useful list of Advanced Commands ('Don't stare at Cousin Edith's hair when she comes over.')- How to use Situational Martyrdom when the dog disobeys ('Fine. Do what you want. I hope you have a nice life.')The rabbis have been training dogs - and their owners - for 20 years. Now they bring the fruits of their vast experience to dog owners everywhere. And the best part? You don't have to be Jewish to benefit from the programme. Just neurotic. Or crazy about your dog.
Henry Kuttner SF Gateway Omnibus
By Henry Kuttner
From the vaults of The SF Gateway, the most comprehensive digital library of classic SFF titles ever assembled, comes an ideal introduction to the fantastic work of one of the Golden Age's most influential writers, Henry Kuttner.Henry Kuttner sold his first story WEIRD TALES in early 1936 and was, with his wife, fellow writer C. L. Moore, a regular contributor to John W. Campbell's ASTOUNDING SCIENCE FICTION. He and Moore collaborated for most of the 1940s and 1950s, but his career was tragically cut short in 1958, when he suffered a fatal heart attack. This omnibus contains two of his major novels, which have been out of print for many years - FURY and MUTANT - and collection THE BEST OF HENRY KUTTNER.
The Honest Toddler
By The Honest Toddler
A laugh-out-loud funny parenting guide from the Honest Toddler, the Internet's most infamous tot, whose unchecked sense of entitlement and undeniable charm on the Honest Toddler blog and on Twitter @HonestToddler have captivated hundreds of thousands of fans online.Are you a confused parent to a toddler?Are you constantly disappointing the small child in your life?This book can help you become a better servant/parent to the toddler at the heart of your world.You'll learn about everything from meal preparation (hint: just put the crackers on a plate), play date etiquette (don't touch. Just don't.), to how time-outs make you look like a fool. The Honest Toddler says a firm 'NO' to popular, fashionable parenting trends and instead embraces the big questions: Who Does Mommy Belong To? How Can You Prevent Siblings? And Sleep and Weaning Yourself Off it.
Hawkmoon: Count Brass
By Michael Moorcock
'War, albeit with the Dark Empire, was clean compared to this ...' Everything that Dorian Hawkmoon ever loved will be torn away from him, its very existence and memory wiped out for ever ... The Eternal Champion must test the limits of reality in a desperate bid to regain a lost love. But first Hawkmoon, Elric, Corum and others must pool their strength - and their swords - to bring about the most mighty change in the order of the multiverse. Contains Count Brass, The Champion of Garathorn and The Quest for Tanelorn
By Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
In Hotel Transylvania, Le Comte de Saint-Germain, the newest member of Louis XV's court, catches the eye of Madelaine de Montalia, but the young lady has attracted others as well, not all of whom mean her well. The Palace is the home of nobleman Francesco Ragoczy da San Germano, who collects the finest art and also dabbles in the black arts.
Heritage of Flight
By Susan Shwartz
Humanity is inextricably torn in an interplanetary war that could lead to the death of human society. Project Seedcorn is probably the last and best hope for the human race. A small group of refugees, scraping out an existence on the edge of human-occupied territory, has been given orders to live as though everything were ordinary and there were no war. Now, everyone's lives depend on the children.
Heirs of Earth
By Sean Williams, Shane Dix
Earth has been destroyed, and with it the natural order of things. What little that remains of humanity is caught between the Spinners and the Starfish, unsure whether to run, hide, or fight back. None of the options is particularly attractive, and none offers much hope for survival.
The Hand of the Necromancer
By Brad Strickland, John Bellairs
Thirteen-year-old Johnny Dixon and his friend Professor Childermass battle an evil wizard for possession of a bewitched hand that can be used to rule the world.
By Greg Bear
The planet Hegira is the universe's melting pot. Hundreds of tribes in dozens of cities intermingle in the vast uncharted territory. The only thing holding the people together are the massive Obelisks, the chronicles of the all the truths and falsehoods each tribe has brought to Hegira. Young Bar-Woten is in search of knowledge and he knows the key to the truth about his homeland is contained in the writings of the Obelisks. With his fellow companions, Bar-Woten must travel through Hegira's exotic cities to discover the lies within the words of thousands.
The Hunter's Haunt
By Dave Duncan
Omar often gets into trouble as a result of his role as the world's greatest storyteller. The wrong tale at the wrong time told to the wrong audience can prove fatal. A slighted innkeeper threatens to kill Omar by tossing him out into the vicious storm that rages just outside the door of the inn. But this time, for a change, Omar also has the chance to redeem himself by using his gift. If Omar can top the most outrageous tales invented by the inn's guests, he may get away with his neck intact. Omar not only tells a series of tales that would astonish the most gifted bard, but corrects the errors of the otherss and weaves them all together into one absolutely compelling tale of adventure.
Harlan Ellison's Movie
By Harlan Ellison
The republication of Harlan Ellison's Movie, the full-length feature film he created when a producer at 20th Century-Fox said to him, "If we gave you the money, and no interference, what sort of movie would you write?" Well, that producer is no longer at 20th, he left the whole entire venue of moviemaking after Harlan Ellison's Movie was seen by the Suits at the studio. There's no use even trying to describe what the film is about, except to confirm the long-standing rumor that it contaims a scene in which a 70-foot-tall boll weevil chews and swallows an entire farmhouse and silo on-camera. (It's Scene 33C.)
The Hunger of Time
By Damien Broderick, Rory Barnes
Technology has started to accelerate at a terrifying rate. By mid-21st century, we might see a Singularity: a convergence of artificial intelligence, advanced nanotechnologies for building things at the atomic scale, precise genomics, other wonders. What happens after that? Will the descendents of today's humanity become gods or demons, or simply destroy themselves? And will we be among their number, carried along by rejuvenation and immortality treatments? For Natalie and her irritatingly beautiful young sister Suzanna, these are no longer abstract questions. The familiar world is on the brink of crisis. Dumped by her live-in boyfriend and stuck back at home with her parents, Nat is not a happy person. And her father Hugh is acting like a mad scientist. What the hell is he building out there in the garage? When Hugh frog-marches his family into the garage, it looks as if he's really gone mad, and they're due to perish even before the plague wipes out all life on earth. But the machine Hugh has been working on hurls them all - not forgetting their dog Ferdy - ever farther into the future, and the escapade doesn't stop until the very end of time and space.
By M.M. Buckner
Hyperthought recounts the adventures of a young man who trusts an unscrupulous doctor to enhance his brain function, and of a young woman who tries to save him.The year is 2125, and the Earth has undergone drastic climate change due to global warming. People crowd in sealed underground habitats to avoid the stormy, toxic surface. Feisty little Jolie Sauvage leads extreme surface adventure tours for rich executives.Jolie's friend, Dr. Judith Merida, is peddling a new cosmetic neurosurgery, which she claims will wake the brain's latent, unconscious senses.Jolie makes a disasterous mistake when she introduces Dr. Merida to one of her wealthy tour group clients, Jin Sura, an arrogant but troubled young man with a terrible desire for knowledge.
Hunters of Gor
By John Norman
Former Earthman Tarl Cabot is now a powerful Tarnsman of the brutal and caste-bound planet of Gor, also known as Counter-Earth. He embarks on an adventure in the dangerous and mysterious wilderness of Gor, pitting his warrior's skills against treacherous outlaws, bandits and fighters. Three different women are working to bring change to Tarl's far-from-peaceful life on Gor: Talena, his onetime queen and first love; Elizabeth, his brave fighting partner; and the Amazonian Verna, chief of the fierce and wild panther women. As Tarl journeys through the wilderness, the fates of these three remarkable women will finally be decided.