How to be Champion
By Sarah Millican
Hilarious, heartwarming and inspirational, this is the number 1 Sunday Times bestselling autobiography by comedian Sarah Millican. The funniest book of the year! *****'The naughtiest, helpiest, laughieoutloudiest and goodest book I've ever done reading on. Give that girl a banana!' DAWN FRENCH SARAH MILLICAN'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH, FEEL NORMAL AND PROBABLY SNIFF YOUR LEGGINGS. Part autobiography, part self help, part confession, part celebration of being a common-or-garden woman, part collection of synonyms for nunny, Sarah Millican's debut book delves into her super normal life with daft stories, funny tales and proper advice on how to get past life's blips - like being good at school but not good at friends, the excitement of IBS and how to blossom post divorce. If you've ever worn glasses at the age of six, worn an off-the-shoulder gown with no confidence, been contacted by an old school bully, lived in your childhood bedroom in your thirties, been gloriously dumped in a Frankie and Benny's, cried so much you felt great, been for a romantic walk with a dog, worn leggings two days in a row even though they smelt of wee from a distance, then this is YOUR BOOK. If you haven't done those things but wish you had, THIS IS YOUR BOOK. If you just want to laugh on a train/sofa/toilet or under your desk at work, THIS IS YOUR BOOK. 'Of course Sarah Millican's book will make you laugh out loud, but there are moments where she will touch you deeply. The dirty bitch.' KATHY BURKE
By Simon Ings
A fast-moving cyberpunk thriller set in a world of thinking cities, ruthless corporations and mad orbital AIs. A novel that links the groundbreaking works of William Gibson to the new generation of writers such as Charlie Stross and Hannu Rajaniemi.Ajay had a future once, birthing intelligent cities for the Haag Agency. First Delhi, then Milan. But then he is seduced into betraying his employers and finds himself working for a city that wishes to become human.Ajay must steal some rare technology from a long-dead wetware expert, a new Frankenstein called Snow, a man now alive in an AI. A man who wants a new toy for his manufactured daughter ...
How To Raise A Jewish Dog
By Ellis Weiner, Barbara Davilman
You don't have to own a dog and you don't have to be Jewish... A humour title about using guilt, shame and passive aggression to raise your dog that will have you barking with laughter.A 'Not Missing Yet' sign informs neighbours that dog is not missing. Some trainers call this precaution unnecessary. We say: It couldn't hurt.Finally! The dog training techniques and tips developed by the renowned Rabbis of the Boca Raton Theological Seminary are available in book form. Look out, monks. Step aside, whisperer. Rabbi Monica and Rabbi Alan show, step by step, how you can use guilt, shame, passive aggression, sarcasm and Conditional Unconditional Love to create an unbreakable bond with your dog. It's all here, including:- The five ways of commanding 'Sit!' ('What, would it kill you to sit down for one lousy second?')- A useful list of Advanced Commands ('Don't stare at Cousin Edith's hair when she comes over.')- How to use Situational Martyrdom when the dog disobeys ('Fine. Do what you want. I hope you have a nice life.')The rabbis have been training dogs - and their owners - for 20 years. Now they bring the fruits of their vast experience to dog owners everywhere. And the best part? You don't have to be Jewish to benefit from the programme. Just neurotic. Or crazy about your dog.
Henry Kuttner SF Gateway Omnibus
By Henry Kuttner
From the vaults of The SF Gateway, the most comprehensive digital library of classic SFF titles ever assembled, comes an ideal introduction to the fantastic work of one of the Golden Age's most influential writers, Henry Kuttner.Henry Kuttner sold his first story WEIRD TALES in early 1936 and was, with his wife, fellow writer C. L. Moore, a regular contributor to John W. Campbell's ASTOUNDING SCIENCE FICTION. He and Moore collaborated for most of the 1940s and 1950s, but his career was tragically cut short in 1958, when he suffered a fatal heart attack. This omnibus contains two of his major novels, which have been out of print for many years - FURY and MUTANT - and collection THE BEST OF HENRY KUTTNER.
The Honest Toddler
By The Honest Toddler
A laugh-out-loud funny parenting guide from the Honest Toddler, the Internet's most infamous tot, whose unchecked sense of entitlement and undeniable charm on the Honest Toddler blog and on Twitter @HonestToddler have captivated hundreds of thousands of fans online.Are you a confused parent to a toddler?Are you constantly disappointing the small child in your life?This book can help you become a better servant/parent to the toddler at the heart of your world.You'll learn about everything from meal preparation (hint: just put the crackers on a plate), play date etiquette (don't touch. Just don't.), to how time-outs make you look like a fool. The Honest Toddler says a firm 'NO' to popular, fashionable parenting trends and instead embraces the big questions: Who Does Mommy Belong To? How Can You Prevent Siblings? And Sleep and Weaning Yourself Off it.
By Chelsea Quinn Yarbro
In Hotel Transylvania, Le Comte de Saint-Germain, the newest member of Louis XV's court, catches the eye of Madelaine de Montalia, but the young lady has attracted others as well, not all of whom mean her well. The Palace is the home of nobleman Francesco Ragoczy da San Germano, who collects the finest art and also dabbles in the black arts.
Heritage of Flight
By Susan Shwartz
Humanity is inextricably torn in an interplanetary war that could lead to the death of human society. Project Seedcorn is probably the last and best hope for the human race. A small group of refugees, scraping out an existence on the edge of human-occupied territory, has been given orders to live as though everything were ordinary and there were no war. Now, everyone's lives depend on the children.
Heirs of Earth
By Sean Williams, Shane Dix
Earth has been destroyed, and with it the natural order of things. What little that remains of humanity is caught between the Spinners and the Starfish, unsure whether to run, hide, or fight back. None of the options is particularly attractive, and none offers much hope for survival.
The Hand of the Necromancer
By Brad Strickland, John Bellairs
Thirteen-year-old Johnny Dixon and his friend Professor Childermass battle an evil wizard for possession of a bewitched hand that can be used to rule the world.
By Greg Bear
The planet Hegira is the universe's melting pot. Hundreds of tribes in dozens of cities intermingle in the vast uncharted territory. The only thing holding the people together are the massive Obelisks, the chronicles of the all the truths and falsehoods each tribe has brought to Hegira. Young Bar-Woten is in search of knowledge and he knows the key to the truth about his homeland is contained in the writings of the Obelisks. With his fellow companions, Bar-Woten must travel through Hegira's exotic cities to discover the lies within the words of thousands.
The Hunter's Haunt
By Dave Duncan
Omar often gets into trouble as a result of his role as the world's greatest storyteller. The wrong tale at the wrong time told to the wrong audience can prove fatal. A slighted innkeeper threatens to kill Omar by tossing him out into the vicious storm that rages just outside the door of the inn. But this time, for a change, Omar also has the chance to redeem himself by using his gift. If Omar can top the most outrageous tales invented by the inn's guests, he may get away with his neck intact. Omar not only tells a series of tales that would astonish the most gifted bard, but corrects the errors of the otherss and weaves them all together into one absolutely compelling tale of adventure.
Harlan Ellison's Movie
By Harlan Ellison
The republication of Harlan Ellison's Movie, the full-length feature film he created when a producer at 20th Century-Fox said to him, "If we gave you the money, and no interference, what sort of movie would you write?" Well, that producer is no longer at 20th, he left the whole entire venue of moviemaking after Harlan Ellison's Movie was seen by the Suits at the studio. There's no use even trying to describe what the film is about, except to confirm the long-standing rumor that it contaims a scene in which a 70-foot-tall boll weevil chews and swallows an entire farmhouse and silo on-camera. (It's Scene 33C.)
The Hunger of Time
By Damien Broderick, Rory Barnes
Technology has started to accelerate at a terrifying rate. By mid-21st century, we might see a Singularity: a convergence of artificial intelligence, advanced nanotechnologies for building things at the atomic scale, precise genomics, other wonders. What happens after that? Will the descendents of today's humanity become gods or demons, or simply destroy themselves? And will we be among their number, carried along by rejuvenation and immortality treatments? For Natalie and her irritatingly beautiful young sister Suzanna, these are no longer abstract questions. The familiar world is on the brink of crisis. Dumped by her live-in boyfriend and stuck back at home with her parents, Nat is not a happy person. And her father Hugh is acting like a mad scientist. What the hell is he building out there in the garage? When Hugh frog-marches his family into the garage, it looks as if he's really gone mad, and they're due to perish even before the plague wipes out all life on earth. But the machine Hugh has been working on hurls them all - not forgetting their dog Ferdy - ever farther into the future, and the escapade doesn't stop until the very end of time and space.
By M.M. Buckner
Hyperthought recounts the adventures of a young man who trusts an unscrupulous doctor to enhance his brain function, and of a young woman who tries to save him.The year is 2125, and the Earth has undergone drastic climate change due to global warming. People crowd in sealed underground habitats to avoid the stormy, toxic surface. Feisty little Jolie Sauvage leads extreme surface adventure tours for rich executives.Jolie's friend, Dr. Judith Merida, is peddling a new cosmetic neurosurgery, which she claims will wake the brain's latent, unconscious senses.Jolie makes a disasterous mistake when she introduces Dr. Merida to one of her wealthy tour group clients, Jin Sura, an arrogant but troubled young man with a terrible desire for knowledge.
Hunters of Gor
By John Norman
Former Earthman Tarl Cabot is now a powerful Tarnsman of the brutal and caste-bound planet of Gor, also known as Counter-Earth. He embarks on an adventure in the dangerous and mysterious wilderness of Gor, pitting his warrior's skills against treacherous outlaws, bandits and fighters. Three different women are working to bring change to Tarl's far-from-peaceful life on Gor: Talena, his onetime queen and first love; Elizabeth, his brave fighting partner; and the Amazonian Verna, chief of the fierce and wild panther women. As Tarl journeys through the wilderness, the fates of these three remarkable women will finally be decided.
By George Effinger
In HEROICS, Irene - like everyone in the future - struggles with boredom. Food, clothing, and all the necessities of human life have been taken care of. But, what does that leave of life itself? At eighty-two, Irene sets out on a pilgrimage across America hoping to find the answer. Along the way, she becomes transformed, both physically and by her interactions with other civilians all trying to cope with this new world.Filled with wry humor and fantastic symbolism, HEROICS mixes adventure and philosophy in a way both engrossing and entertaining. Of this book, friend and fellow writer Harlan Ellsion said, 'It is the best Effinger yet, and for those of us who have been watching with amazement that is about as rich a compliment as you can expect from other envious authors. Damn him, he's good!'George Alec Effinger was a true master of satirical Science Fiction. Before his death in 2002, Effinger was a prolific novelist and short story writer, earning acclaim from his fans and peers, including a Nebula Award nomination for his first book WHAT ENTROPHY MEANS TO ME. In HEROICS, he revisits some of the themes and characters of that first book for startling, funny and poignant results.
The Healer's War
By Elizabeth Scarborough
Although perhaps best-known for her lightly humorous fantasies and for her collaborations with Anne McCaffrey on the Petaybee series and the Acorna series, Elizabeth Anne Scarborough has also written The Healer's War, a classic novel of the Vietnam War, enriched with a magical, mystical twist, which won the 1989 Nebula Award for Best Novel of 1988. The Minneapolis Star Tribune called it 'A brutal and beautiful book.'Scarborough herself was a nurse in Vietnam during the war and she draws on her own personal experiences to create the central character, Lt. Kitty McCulley. McCulley, a young and inexperienced nurse tossed into a stressful and chaotic situation, is having a difficult time reconciling her duty to help and heal with the indifference and overt racism of some of her colleagues and with the horrendously damaged soldiers and Vietnamese civilians whom she encounters during her service at the China Beach medical facilities.She is unexpectedly helped by the mysterious and inexplicable properties of an amulet, given to her by one of her patients, an elderly, dying Vietnamese holy man, which allows her to see other people's 'auras' and to understand more about them as a result. This eventually leads to a strange, almost surrealistic journey through the jungle, accompanied by a one-legged boy and a battle-seasoned but crazed soldier and, by the end of the journey, McCulley has found herself and a way to live and survive through the madness and destruction.
By Dave Duncan
Space opera at its finest and most action-filled, from the bestselling author of fantasy quests, epic tales and swashbuckling adventures. Vaun, born a peasant in the stinking mud flats of Ult, a thriving colony planet, claws his way to survival and fame by becoming the toughest young officer in the Space Patrol. A veteran of the brutal training academy, he seizes opportunities as they arise, leading the first ship out against a surprise attack by the mysterious Brotherhood. He returns to a hero's welcome as the Brotherhood ship falls to the surface of his home planet in shattered pieces. The Brotherhood is elsewhere unstoppable, though, as neighboring planets, one by one, fall silent, conquered. And then, the Patrol detects a huge spacecraft launched from one of the now-silent worlds and headed for Ult. Facing a challenge greater than he can truly hope to overcome, Vaun nonetheless sets out to save Ult for a second time.
By Pamela Sargent
Anra is a solitary. She was born without the power to mindspeak and cannot, like all of her fellows can, communicate in unspoken thoughts. In the past, she would have been killed at birth but the arrival of the Wanderer, the comet controlled by the cybernetic intelligence known as the Homesmind has changed everything. The people of the comet, the skydwellers, now supply solitaries with implants that allow artificial mindspeaking. The solitaries are sequestered in a single village willing to care for such children.Anra and her new brethren were thought to be the possible bridge between the people of Earth and the skydwellers but the gap may be too great since the people of Earth consider solitaries an abomination and the skydwellers as soulless. The solitaries are, instead, outcasts in two worlds, part of each but fully accepted in neither.Another comet enters the system, refusing to communicate with Homesmind and speaking to the people of Earth with the voices of their own dead, seducing them into a submission of their individual wills and trying to lure them to oblivion. Anra and he fellow solitaries have the power to resist their call but can they unite in time to save everyone else?
Heart of the Ronin
By Travis Heermann
Ken'ishi is just 17 years old and an orphan after the mysterious death of his parents. He dreams of training with a master who will some day help him become a samurai. Traveling with Silver Crane, a sword that belonged to his father, and a dog, Akao, for a sidekick, Ken'ishi's adventures begin after he murders a policeman and must flee. Just when he thinks he has escaped trouble, he saves Kazuko, the daughter of an influential lord, from a group of bandits. In return, he is asked to live in the lord's house, where he falls in love with Kazuko. Forced to flee once again, Ken'ishi goes on a hunt to discover his past while fighting off warriors and demons, not to mention worrying about the bounty that's on his head. Will he find out if his father really was a samurai or why the sword he wields seems to be infused with magic? Written while the author lived in Japan, HEART OF THE RONIN combines historical fiction with fantasy to keep readers guessing what Ken'ishi will encounter next in Heerman's mystical universe. Publishers Weekly says it best: "Numerous tantalizingly unresolved plot threads will have readers anxiously awaiting the second installment in this gripping tale of ill-fated love, betrayal and destiny."