Sarah Millican - How to be Champion - Orion Publishing Group

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    • ISBN:9781409174332
    • Publication date:05 Oct 2017
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    • ISBN:9781409174349
    • Publication date:05 Oct 2017

How to be Champion

The No.1 Sunday Times Bestselling Autobiography

By Sarah Millican

  • Paperback
  • £7.99

Sarah Millican's autobiography will make you laugh, feel normal and probably sniff your leggings.

Hilarious, heartwarming and inspirational, this is the number 1 Sunday Times bestselling autobiography by comedian Sarah Millican. The funniest book of the year!

*****
'The naughtiest, helpiest, laughieoutloudiest and goodest book I've ever done reading on. Give that girl a banana!' DAWN FRENCH

SARAH MILLICAN'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY WILL MAKE YOU LAUGH, FEEL NORMAL AND PROBABLY SNIFF YOUR LEGGINGS.

Part autobiography, part self help, part confession, part celebration of being a common-or-garden woman, part collection of synonyms for nunny, Sarah Millican's debut book delves into her super normal life with daft stories, funny tales and proper advice on how to get past life's blips - like being good at school but not good at friends, the excitement of IBS and how to blossom post divorce.

If you've ever worn glasses at the age of six, worn an off-the-shoulder gown with no confidence, been contacted by an old school bully, lived in your childhood bedroom in your thirties, been gloriously dumped in a Frankie and Benny's, cried so much you felt great, been for a romantic walk with a dog, worn leggings two days in a row even though they smelt of wee from a distance, then this is YOUR BOOK. If you haven't done those things but wish you had, THIS IS YOUR BOOK. If you just want to laugh on a train/sofa/toilet or under your desk at work, THIS IS YOUR BOOK.

'Of course Sarah Millican's book will make you laugh out loud, but there are moments where she will touch you deeply. The dirty bitch.' KATHY BURKE

Biographical Notes

Since winning the 2008 if.comedy Best Newcomer Award at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival for her debut solo show, Sarah Millican's Not Nice, Sarah has firmly established herself as a household name, having been nominated three times for The British Comedy Awards People's Choice: Queen of Comedy and winning the award in 2011.

Sarah's debut DVD, Chatterbox Live!, was the biggest selling stand-up DVD by a female comedian of all time, shifting over 150,000 units in the first five weeks of release alone. Her latest title, Sarah Millican: Outsider, was released in November 2016 and went straight to number one in the sales chart upon release. A two time BAFTA nominee for The Sarah Millican Television Programme, Sarah's other television credits include two appearances on The Royal Variety Performance and four appearances on flagship BBC stand-up show Live At The Apollo. As well as her live and TV work, Sarah is also the founder of Standard Issue magazine for women. She lives with her husband Gary, dog Commander Tuvok and cats Chief Brody and Lieutenant Ripley.

You can follow Sarah Millican on:
Twitter: @SarahMillican75
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Sarah-Millican-9367549505/
Instagram: @thesarahmillican

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781409174325
  • Publication date: 31 May 2018
  • Page count: 304
  • Imprint: Trapeze
'The naughtiest, helpiest, laughieoutloudiest and goodest book I've ever done reading on. Give that girl a banana!' Dawn French
'Of course Sarah Millican's writing will make you laugh out loud, but there are moments where she will touch you deeply. The dirty bitch.' Kathy Burke
'A properly funny autobiography had a one-night stand with a genuinely inspirational self-help book and this is their lovable mongrel offspring.' Frank Skinner
'Do not read this while eating tomato soup. You are guaranteed to laugh and stain something.' Sandi Toksvig
'Funny and honest. Sometimes too honest. Like your nan when she's drunk at Christmas.' Ricky Gervais
'This is everything you want Sarah's first book to be. Outrageously funny, painfully honest and deliciously filthy.' Phillip Schofield
'What a fantastic comedy victory for the peerless Madam Millican... Blows much of the erudite, smug old bollocks in bookshops out of the water.' Jo Brand
'Like Sarah - funny, wise and authentic. Read it!' Miranda Hart
'Just like her stand-up: nothing is off limits, honest, candid, but most of all laugh-out-loud funny.' Alan Carr
'Settling down with the divine Ms M's book is like cosying up with your best mate, big laughs, intimate confessions, earthy wisdom and hilarious, self-deprecating honesty, it's all there.' Meera Syal
'Hilarious and heartwarming, just like the author.' David Walliams
'If you like Sarah, read this book and you will love her. If you already love her, you will love her even more.' Michael McIntyre
'As cheering and neccessary as a sweary cup of tea.' Caitlin Moran
'How To Be Champion does something all too rare, it encourages us: to laugh at our flaws, to value ourselves, and also to fight back when the chips are down. It's as hilarious as it is touching. This book should be taught in schools!' John Robins
'Witty, wise, forthright and very funny. Terrific!' Graham Norton
'A wonderful read... Sarah Millican is a national treasure.' Matt Lucas
'Just as wise and funny and honest as [Sarah] is. Loved it.' Jojo Moyes
'Original, thoughtful and inspiring; I found myself laughing out loud on far too many occasions to count.' Jason Manford
'As good as a cuddle.' Sarah's dad
'This book is ballsy, naughty and sexy, just like its author. Also most importantly FUNNY, with the occasional flash of the vulnerable woman beneath the bold-as-brass exterior. If you don't love her your heart is dead.' Richard Herring
'Not just a book, this will make you laugh, hold your hand when you're feeling wobbly and whisper into your ear, that not only are you normal, you're "champion".' Jenny Eclair
'I knew Sarah's book would be hysterical because she is one of the best comedians in the world, but her book is also wise, touching, heart warming and uplifting. Buy it for all your mates!!' Sara Pascoe
'This book is empowering, vulnerable and, of course, hilarious. Which is like every time I've ever spent with the always inspiring Sarah Millican.' Joe Lycett
'I've had Sarah in the bath, in bed and even on the train and I can honestly say her book is the best relationship of my life. Hilarious, honest and emotional. It's like having a best friend in a book. A triumph.' Susan Calman
'A wickedly smart, throbbingly relatable, hysterically funny book that will remind you that you're never alone - you've always got Sarah Millican. As good as a girls' night in with your best friend and your favourite cake.' Deborah Frances-White - The Guilty Feminist
'Sarah Millican is as funny in book form as she is onstage, which is very funny indeed.' David Baddiel
'This book is completely brilliant. If you don't love it, come find me.' Claudia Winkleman
'You know when you cry laugh and nod over-enthusiastically with a friend because what they're saying is so funny and so true? That's how I felt about Sarah's wonderful book' Louise Pentland
The one-liners come thick and fast in comedian Sarah Millican's memoir HOW TO BE CHAMPION, and when bad things happen - bullying or divorce - the jokes become funnier and more real. You'll be laughing a lot, crying a bit and cheering for her, too — GOOD HOUSEKEEPING
One of our favourite stand-ups looks at her own life to show that life doesn't have to be perfect and you don't have to be amazing all the time. Packed with laugh-out-loud stories and advice, this will delight her many fans — Fanny Blake, WOMAN & HOME
I do not recommend you read this book in public, unless you like snorting and crying with laughter in front of strangers. This is a book in which the writer's warmth shines through and the advice really is responsible and helpful. Do read it, you will learn something; even if it is just how to bake a cake — Kate Stone, FUNNY WOMEN
Written with the sort of warmth and sincerity that hallmarks her stand-up. Her book is, in short, champion — CHORTLE
Funny, feisty and just a little bit filthy, the fast-talking Geordie is one of Britain's best-loved comedians. Her book, a combination of memoir and self-help book, will make you laugh out loud — BEST
Down-to-earth superstar Millican tells her own story here of how she turned to stand-up after the break-up of her first marriage and conquered the male-dominated comedy world. Honest, touching and, like Millican's stand-up shows, endearingly smutty — EVENING STANDARD
Trapeze

Elis and John Present the Holy Vible

Elis James, John Robins
Authors:
Elis James, John Robins

'Elis and John are my go-to place when I need a bloody good laugh. Properly funny!' Sarah MillicanComedians Elis James and John Robins have captured the hearts and minds of a generation, and it's time those hearts and minds had a book.Elis and John met in 2005 performing stand-up comedy in a pub called The Yellow Kangaroo in Cardiff. They eyed each other suspiciously before Robins offered the limpest handshake in the history of the world.'It was a power play,' says Robins. 'I may even have raised it for him to kiss.' James expands: 'It was one of the weirdest things I'd ever experienced, but having known John now for over a decade, it was the tip of the iceberg. I can honestly say he's the oddest man I've ever met.'Little did they know that ten years later they would be presenting a radio show together that would make them comedy royalty...Ok, radio comedy royalty...Ok, commercial digital indie radio royalty...But with a podcast! Now, The Elis James and John Robins' Show has become cult listening, and that cult has registered for charitable status, published quarterly accounts and been given a full blessing by the Archbishop of Broadcasting. It's official: Elis and John are a religion, and this book is their Holy Vible.Have you ever failed to Keep It Session? Is your new flatmate a complete coin? Have you ever eaten Space Raiders on the toilet and written 'Grief Is Living' in your journal? Then this book is for you. If not, don't worry, it won't be long before you're making up games, looking at Freddie, or facing your own personal farthing-gate.Our obsessions make us what we are, and though you may never have addressed a will to Brian May or cried watching Ronnie O' Sullivan make a 147, you'll have done something similar, and Elis and John are here to tell you that you're not weird, so come on in, and taste the vibe! Or should I say, READ the vibe!

Trapeze

Listening to the Animals: Becoming The Supervet

Noel Fitzpatrick
Authors:
Noel Fitzpatrick

A powerful, heart-warming and inspiring memoir from the UK's most famous and beloved vet, Professor Noel Fitzpatrick - star of the Channel 4 series The Supervet.Growing up on the family farm in Ballyfin, Ireland, Noel's childhood was spent tending to the cattle and sheep, the hay and silage, the tractors and land, his beloved sheepdog Pirate providing solace from the bullies that plagued him at school. It was this bond with Pirate, and a fateful night spent desperately trying to save a newborn lamb, that inspired Noel to enter the world of veterinary science - and set him on the path to becoming The Supervet.Now, in this long-awaited memoir, Noel recounts this often-surprising journey that sees him leaving behind a farm animal practice in rural Ireland to set up Fitzpatrick Referrals in Surrey, one of the most advanced small animal specialist centres in the world. We meet the animals that paved the way, from calving cows and corralling bullocks to talkative parrots and bionic cats and dogs. Noel has listened to the many lessons that the animals in his care have taught him, and especially the times he has shared with his beloved Keira, the scruffy Border Terrier who has been by Noel's side as he's dealt with the unbelievable highs and crushing lows of his extraordinary career. As heart-warming and life-affirming as the TV show with which he made his name, Listening to the Animals is a story of love, hope and compassion, and about rejoicing in the bond between humans and animals that makes us the very best we can be.

W&N

Your Call

Jeremy Vine
Authors:
Jeremy Vine

'Full of glorious examples of caller wisdom [with] laugh-out-loud anecdotes' Allison Pearson, Sunday TelegraphJeremy Vine has been presenting his BBC Radio 2 show since 2003 - it now attracts more than seven million listeners. He calculates he has taken more than 25,000 calls from his listeners on issues big and small: life, love, lollipop ladies and poisonous plants.But what have the callers told him? If you listen to Radio 4, Brexit was a shock. If you are on Radio 2 it would not have surprised you at all. Where Jeremy's callers once expressed a kind of resignation ('But what can you do?') or a gloomy rejoinder ('You have to laugh'), now they give him their views expecting to be heeded.Listener wisdom is far more valuable than most of what we hear from appointed spokespeople. What was the response when Jeremy asked: 'Have you ever been pecked in the eye by a gannet?' Which subjects are most likely to start pitched warfare between different sections of the audience? (Answer: old people using buses, old people NOT using buses, cellophane, or Tony Blair saying anything.)In a book punctuated by his own vivid stories and laugh-out-loud moments, Jeremy Vine explains what it's like to hit a button and hear - totally unvarnished and unspun - the voice of the so-called 'ordinary' person. And why we should take notice.

Orion Spring

Calm: The Journal

Fearne Cotton
Authors:
Fearne Cotton
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Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Eric Idle
Authors:
Eric Idle
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Dragula

Ma'am Stoker
Authors:
Ma'am Stoker

When Jonathan Harker visits Trans-ylvania to help Count Dragula purchase a London house, he makes some horrifying discoveries in his client's castle (including the wearing of espadrilles without irony) and the local area, where people insist on behaving bizarrely, festooning him with garlic and blethering on about a 'fierce queen', although perhaps something is getting lost in translation. They shout out to him: 'good luck, and don't get slurped up!'. It's about to get even weirder at the castle where there is a battle of wills going on between the mysterious Count and what he terms, the 'blood-sucking b*tches!' in the village, led by the infamous van High-Heelsing. But who will prevail on the runway? As each kween sashays towards the jugular, the reader is taken on a journey to the ultimate lip sync for your life finale.

Trapeze

Friendship Never Ends

Ella Dyson
Authors:
Ella Dyson

A big-hearted comedy about friendship, the 90s and the greatest girl band in the world Three independent women - and one man who lives for drama - haven't spoken to their best friend in 20 years, after an epic talent show disaster tore them apart during the height of Spice-mania.Self-appointed gang leader Carmen then decided to go it alone - Geri style. But now, in 2018, the school reunion is fast approaching. Friendship Never Ends tells the story of Carmen's plan to win back her former besties - Jemma, Ellie, Laura and Benny - ahead of the big night. But has Carmen really changed? And can their friendship ever really go back to how it was?

W&N

How Does It Feel?

Mark Kermode
Authors:
Mark Kermode

'A rattling tornado of a tale' DANNY BAKER'Wonderful and wry . . . it will increase your zest for life' RICHARD AYOADEFollowing a formative encounter with the British pop movie Slade in Flame in 1975, Mark Kermode decided that musical superstardom was totally attainable. And so, armed with a homemade electric guitar and very little talent, he embarked on an alternative career - a chaotic journey which would take him from the halls and youth clubs of North London to the stages of Glastonbury, the London Palladium and The Royal Albert Hall.HOW DOES IT FEEL? follows a lifetime of musical misadventures which have seen Mark striking rockstar poses in the Sixth Form Common Room, striding around a string of TV shows dressed from head to foot in black leather, getting heckled off stage by a bunch of angry septuagenarians on a boat on the Mersey, showing Timmy Mallet how to build a tea-chest bass - and winning the International Street Entertainers of the Year award as part of a new wave of skiffle. Really. Hilarious, self-deprecating and blissfully nostalgic, this is a riotous account of a bedroom dreamer's attempts to conquer the world armed with nothing more than a chancer's enthusiasm and a simple philosophy: how hard can it be?

W&N

The Labyrinth of the Spirits

Carlos Ruiz Zafon
Authors:
Carlos Ruiz Zafon

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W&N

Going on the Turn

Danny Baker
Authors:
Danny Baker

In this book my father dies. I almost die.*** My showbiz career winds down. And yet everyone keeps telling me it's the funniest book I've ever written. If I'd known that's what the public wanted, I'd have cancelled Pets Win Prizes and just got sick sooner. Along the way this time we encounter, among others, David Bowie, Kanye West (I think), John Cleese, Peter O'Toole, and have several adventures in the Fourth Dimension. Oh, and I can reveal the Man With The Foulest Mouth In All Show Business. Plus assorted high-kicking hoopla and a whole lot of rather stark stuff about what it's like to be told you could be On The Way Out. *** (SPOILER ALERT: I don't actually die.)

Orion

The Adults

Caroline Hulse
Authors:
Caroline Hulse

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W&N

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Gollancz

Terry Pratchett's Discworld Imaginarium

Paul Kidby
Authors:
Paul Kidby

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Trapeze

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Chris (Simpsons Artist)
Authors:
Chris (Simpsons Artist)

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Trapeze

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Authors:
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Authors:
Mark Mason

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W&N

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Chris Difford
Authors:
Chris Difford
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Sweetpea Slight
Authors:
Sweetpea Slight

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Trapeze

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David M. Barnett
Authors:
David M. Barnett

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W&N

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Authors:
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